Over my 26 years living on this little planet I have had my fair share of rejections. Since a young age I have been involved in the performing world, where I was met with rejection a hell of a lot! Currently I face rejection on a monthly, weekly often daily basis, and this is true of probably 90 per cent of performers out there. I am often rejected even before the person knows my name. Oh life! But over the years, I have come up with a few ways of changing how my brain thinks of rejection to survive and hopefully come out the other side. This has not only helped me within the performing industry but also all the other rejections life likes to throw at us be it career, relationships etc. Now, I am in no way an expert at being completely unaffected by rejection and just this week I have been through some testing times where the thought of being rejected is terrifying. I truly believe it can be one of the hardest feelings we face as human beings. It is so easy to fall into the trap of feeling worthless and lose our own voice and sense of self in the process. It can often feel like the end of the world, a disappoint that is just too much to handle and you can’t see how you can pick yourselves up again for the 1000th time. But you must. So, here our some tips for you, and me, on keeping a healthy mind set after that dreaded rejection.
1. Its not personal. Now I know what you’re thinking, how can it not be personal? This person or company has literally turned round and said they don’t want me, or my work isn’t good enough or they don’t like the way I look or talk etc. But this is just that person’s opinion not the truth. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion or vision of the world we live in and just because someone didn’t see your awesomeness that doesn’t mean no one will.
2. Learn from it. How can you turn a rejection around so you come out winning? You learn from it. If you can take away something from the experience then you are better than you were yesterday. If you can improve on even just one little thing, the rejection isn’t wasted. Use it to better yourself and you come out winning!
3. It meant you tried. I always think of the JK Rowling quote when it comes to rejection.
“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.”
To be rejected by someone or something means you put yourself out there and you tried. Even though it didn’t go your way you are still miles ahead of everyone else who didn’t. Be proud of that.
4. You never know what’s around the corner. Now this is an old saying, but a very true one. You truly don’t know what’s going to happen within the next minute of your life. This rejection may just lead you to the best moments of your life. Life can be funny that way. However, you will never be able to foresee the future so just trust in the timing of you life and the path that each rejection may set up for you.
5. It forces you to think outside the box. Being rejected sometimes forces you to take another route in life, maybe a route you had never even thought about but turns out to be the best thing for you. Having to think outside the box and leave your comfort zone means you grow as a person. You will be grateful for this later in life. “Sometimes we are forced into directions we ought to have found ourselves.” (cheeky Maid in Manhattan quote…)
Times a healer. The pain of rejection will pass. Its always temporary. You have survived 100 per cent of rejections so far and you will carry on. So grab that Ben and Jerrys and feel sorry for yourself for a day. Then its back to the drawing board, because I know you have a helluva lot more to give. You got this!